February 12, 2024
This month (and every moment really) is about SELF-LOVE.
The yoga tradition invites us to love ourselves in the most authentic way - which of course, is different for everyone… but one sure-fire path to authentic self-love is by being in the right relationship with reality (that’s right, we’re getting REAL here). Let’s be honest, most of the time being in the right relationship with reality requires a conscious degree of effort considering our culture has trained us to always want what we don’t have (cue awkward truth face).
Over the years, I’ve cultivated my own yoga tradition for cultivating my relationship with reality and I call it: self-love straight talk. It’s honest and succinct because the truth (aka: reality) is not always easy to see, or understand, or embrace. We've got to get right to it and ask ourselves the hard questions. Then we can assess, then we can shift and evolve. That’s what I make a practice of doing.
In the second chapter of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras he says, “stira sukham asanam” [vII.46], which loosely translates to mean, “with steadiness and ease we take the seat of ourselves”. This reminds me over and over again, that my experience of ease, self-love, or peace is in DIRECT RELATIONSHIP to my efforts. They are alive in a grand pulsation to one another, seeking a sweet spot for more of the same.
How REAL is that?!
So I’d like to offer you a few sweet nuggets of self-love straight talk as you practice self-love.
Honor your boundaries and your values as a way of preserving your wholeness.
Saying goodbye (different from ghosting, walking away, avoidance or denial) may be the most clear act of self-love given a circumstance. That might mean leaving a party, a job, a friendship, a relationship… Yup, I said it.
Get support. We all need support.
Settling for “fine” is not always good enough when it comes to how you feel, your body, your mind and mental health, the quality of your sleep, the state of your friendships, or the quality of intimate relations. Ask for help, AND accept support when it’s offered!
Your needs are nourishment… they don’t make you “needy”.
Have the hard conversations. Denying yourself and others the truth of your experience not only erodes your own integrity but it ruins theirs as well. Trust the people in your life can handle your experience and WANT to.
Take what sticks and leave the rest.
I love you.
Want to connect? I’m here for you.